We have all, at one time or another, purchased a bottle of Suave shampoo. If you aren’t a fan of Suave, I’m guessing that you’ve purchased some equally inexpensive, econo-sized bottle of hair cleaning product. It struck me this morning as I opened up a new bottle of Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific in the shower that our shampoo usage mirrors the workflow during these economic times.

How so? Well, if you have a minute to read you can smell my floral-smelling brain in action.

When I (and I consider myself an ‘everyman’) open a new bottle of shampoo, that overly-full bottle just begs me to give my scalp a good washing. Because of that, I pour out an over-sized portion of shampoo into my hand. Sure, I can blame it on the bottle being too full or my zealousness on wanting to be cleaner than clean, but the fact of the matter is, I pour enough in my hand to wash an army of baboons. Why? Because, I CAN! I have a full bottle so why wouldn’t I splurge on my cleanliness?

After the initial new-bottle sensation wears off a few showers later, I decrease from a Lake Erie sized pool of shampoo. Gradually I reduce to a Silver Dollar dollop, then to a quarter-sized squeeze and then all the way down to the recommended dime sized drop of shampoo. By that time the bottle is now about 3/4 empty and I have a solid week or two of showers in this way.

But then, I realize that the end is near and that my bottle of shampoo is about to be drained empty. The first shower I’ll try to ignore the fact and just tip the bottle upside-down while I wash until there is enough in the cap to perform the task of washing a Homer Simpson comb over.

The next shower is the first real panic moment when I realize that I haven’t gone to the store for more shampoo and I have nothing left in the bottle but hope and the remnants of a scent that tell me how good that stuff was when I had it. “WHY? Why wasn’t I more frugal when I had more?” I question myself. I flash back to when I had a full bottle and imagine my past-self just squeezing the whole thing down the drain while laughing maniacally at my present self. Lightning strikes and I am back in the present filling the bottle of shampoo with the hot water from the shower and shaking the bottle to get one more treatment before I have to go get more shampoo at the store.

The next time in the shower, I pick up the shampoo bottle and have a nano-second of contentment thinking that I have gone to the store already and purchased a full bottle of shampoo. However, that glee is quickly replaced by shame as I search through my memory rolodex to see that there was no trip to the store since my last shower. The sobering reality is that there is now ice-cold, faint-scented water in the bottle and I will need to use this or nothing else to primp my dome today. I release the sting of frozen fireants upon my bald spot as I pour the bottle directly on my head. There is no sense of pouring it into my hand as I know their is no lather to work up and that any other transfer of this 97% water mixture than direct contact will result in me loosing precious clean molecules.

The next shower, I steal my wife’s shampoo for curly hair and wind up walking around like Art Garfunkel all day.

As stated earlier in this article, I marveled that my shampoo usage mirrors the workflow during these economic times. When a client gets their new budgets for the quarter or the year, they are rife with new work, briefs and proposals for us to bid on. It is like PM’s and AE’s just came from Costco (Sam’s Club for you East Coasters) with a palette of Paul Mitchell Tea Tree Special and a hankerin’ to do some hair washin’.

Soon after though, the work still needs done, but the budget is like a 1/4 filled shampoo bottle. No matter how much we ask, plead or beg, you can only think that shampoo down so many times until it is just ice-cold water. Asking clients to ration is never an answer as shampoo can always spill (budgets cut), be used by guests (supervisor uses budget for boondoggle) or just be left at the gym (layoffs).

So what do you do to ensure that you have enough shampoo to remain clean all year round? Well, my dad always told me never ask a bald guy where he gets his hair cut…my guess is the same goes for washing too.

“How do Howie do that hair washin’?”

Well, if I extend this metaphor out to its conclusion I would say this is how I’ve resolved my shampoo problem in recent weeks. I have put shampoo on my list every time I go to the store. If I need a loaf of bread, stick of butter and a container of milk, I always add shampoo to the list. That way I am always cognizant of my shampoo level each time I go in the shower.

Same is true with budgets. Every new project should be considered like a trip to the store and your budget is the shampoo. If you are in a meeting that adds new projects, scope or timeline, make sure your budget is compensated. Did IT come up with a new plan of simplifying something for your department you didn’t need simplified? Well, better make sure that budget is compensated for training. It is better to have your budget full and a shower full of shampoo than to have to pour that ice-cold water on your head and miss a marketing opportunity.

Now if you will excuse me, I need to squeeze the last remaining angstrom of toothpaste out of the tube so I can brush my teeth. I’ll save that for my next lecture entitled, “Tootpaste and stretching budgets: Maximizing minty freshness all quarter long.”

We did it! And by ‘we’ I am referring to Nike, Nikassi, Paramount and Bauer Graphics. In two weeks time we were all able to work together to put together a silent auction to support Big Brothers Big Sisters.

The day went smoother than silk. Nikassi beer was there with a keg of their finest and more than 30 auctions were available and getting populated fast. Bauer Graphics provided the food, posters and bid sheets for the auction. Our friend Danielle from Paramount stepped in at the last minute to help out with the printing.

Tony the T-man coordinated and emceed the entire event and handled everything exceptionally down to the last minutes of each auction. DJ Brad Mos-en-beats was on hand to put together a genius list of music that included one of our fave-raves; the Beastie Boys. New father Dr. G.C. Davies was on hand and on “Nikassi tap detail” throughout the event. Everything and everyone on Nike’s end was simply stellar.

Our own resident designer J. Yeager was on hand to auction off his ‘blank stare at a white wall’ mannequin skills. Unfortunately, we did not have a bid sheet printed up for him so he stood perfectly still for three hours for no reason whatsoever.

All jokes aside, the auction raised a lot of money for a good cause. More importantly, the event raised a tremendous amount of spirit and good feelings. We can’t wait till the next opportunity to help out with another worthy cause.

If you want to live to a hundred, you’d better lighten up.Children of centenarians—who usually inherit both longevity and personality traits from their parents—are on average more outgoing, agreeable, and less neurotic, according to a new study.

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In this showcase, you’ll see some of the best web designs that involve the use of paper elements and textures – for your inspiration.

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Some good insights, here is one of my faves: “If we want to make money as a graphic designer, we must concentrate on the work — not the money: Whenever I’ve taken on design projects “just for the money,” disaster has invariably ensued. When we put money first and work second, we end up with bad work & an even worse balance sheet”.

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“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

- Apple Computer in 1997

Designers love all of those tutorials that can help them to learn more and more everyday and give them direction to design more beautiful and attractive creative works. Today, we are going to list down 43 Brilliant Photoshop Tutorials For Excellent 3d Effects. We hope you all will like this collection.

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Designers need high quality fonts or typefaces. This round up post brings what you need! A very useful post ;)

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We are quite sure that everyone has heard the ol’ wheat-n-chaff cliché. That’s the one about distinguishing the wanted from the unwanted, the valuable from the relatively valueless.

That phrase comes from the simple agricultural practice of exposing wheat to the wind so that the chaff blew away and the grains remained. It was a process called ‘winnowing’ and it has been around for thousands of years.

When the wind wasn’t up to the task, enterprising wheat farmers would take oar-like fans to create an artificial breeze to expedite the winnowing process. Having your workday over swiftly back in 300 BC meant more free time to throw rocks or contemplate why the sun and moon always fight for dominion of the sky.

Flash forward to 2009 as we see the metaphorical version of winnowing going on in the workplace. Boardroom farmers are putting the employees into a pile and waiting for the forcasting winds to tell them what employees will need to be blown out of the payroll. The problem is, the forecast has been so bleak that these farmers are all taking up oars and beating the crap out of anyone that is popping their heads out of the pile for air.

That kind of environment is not at all healthy for anyone.

So, with all of the insane oar-poundings going on, we at Bauer Graphics thought it was time to reinvigorate our super-happy-funtime-blog. Many of you may remember the blog from back in 2005, and had always asked where it had gone. Well, it didn’t go anywhere, we had just turned it into an internal resource for our designers to get tips and ideas on how to better their craft.

We are now about to re-launch this bad boy to the general public and hope that we can put some smiles on some faces to get people through the day.

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is Neal Bauer and I am the President a Portland based graphic design studio called Bauer Graphics Funtime Emporium and Waffle Hut. Due to the current state of the economy, we can no longer afford to replace the light bulbs on our exterior signage. Because of this we have opted to change our name to simply ‘Bauer Graphics’ instead. We apologize for any inconvenience or confusion this may cause.

We are wasting no time in 2009 in getting our message out to vendors about our new suite of services. This is why we chose the first week in March to launch this new series of initiatives.

Click the link below to have your minds blown:
http://www.bauergraphics.com/capabilities2009/www.bauergraphics.com/capabilities2009/bg_capabilities2009.pdf
(longer URL can be furnished upon request)

If you are still reeling from the capabilities document you have just read, please fold your arms on your desk and put your head down until the room stops spinning. Then, forward this to anyone in your organization who needs a dose of kick ass marketing, merchandising and design.

Remember, if it doesn’t say Bauer Graphics*, it should shut the hell up once in a while.

Neal Bauer
el Presidente
www.bauergraphics.com

* Formerly Bauer Graphics Funtime Emporium and Waffle Hut